Heart Cry

I had went through a 15 yr marriage filled with verbal abuse and still hadn’t dealt with other issues in my life.    The Lord gave me this – and it helped start the barriers dropping to allow him to heal. I am hoping – should you need to, and are afraid to face the pain and issues, that this will help you get alone with him to start your own healing process.  We all pray, differently but the first step is always the hardest to take. We all put up defenses to keep from getting hurt again, but we don’t need to do it with god.

Dear Lord,

Precious lord, you know my true intentions and my love for you and I praise you for all you have done for me,

I am distressed that I have repeatedly, unknowingly taken things out of your loving hands.

Lord, teach me to depend on you and break through the trust barriers. Heal the wounds that is hindering it as I know now that has been missing in my life- restore unto me what the devil stole from me. Restore the good memories that the locust has stolen over the years and all that he has taken from me at the hands of others. I forgive them and ask you to bind the negative thoughts and emotions for ever caused. Train me, mold me break me (gently please),fill me, use me. Mold me into the person you can use completely. Show me who I can trust and be open with, and to shut my mouth, and to break the negativity. Break the stubborn spirit that has to do it all in me, and show me it is ok to depend on, and trust in you. Lord, I have had to do it myself for so long, because of always being told no when I asked for help, or reminded all the time when they did help, that they did, and wanted repayment, which confused me as we were taught not to do that. Help me to love the sinner and hate their ways, and return good  for  evil, and to do good that despite fully use me, and not get hurt and walk away.

Lord, one time you got my attention so effectively when I slipped and said something I didn’t mean to, You, very disappointedly,  said, What do you think you are doing?  The disappointed tone you used, broke my heart, as I so desire your approval, and to know I am good enough and worthy to do your calling ?  I need to learn the still ,small voice, as it has never been used on me – just loudness( Please oh lord – help me to understand it and learn to hear it clearly) Yelling scares me but , I deal more with the tones and being talked to like my feelings matter.

Put a check in me when I speak, if it is not from you, or do things ahead of you.

Lord, break(bind) the spirits that have been trying to control me-anger,negativity,jealousy,unforgiveness,bitterness,pride,confusion,envy,self-doubt,depression, discouragement. Failure, self-doubt, unbelief, low-self esteem,fear,loneliness,wanting to please and impress others ( I want to please you and only you).

Lord, you said you hear the cries of a broken, contrite, humbled spirit and heart. Refuse me not your Mercies and grace in this. Restore me to what I once was a loving, caring, forgiving person that let go and forgot – help me oh god – to know that again. Let what I’ve been through help others and be for your glory not a hindrance.

Verbally check this sometimes dense, stubborn woman the minute she gets out of line. A loud hey will get my attention- teach me to understand and respond to that still, small voice- never had it used on me before. Do another inside out on me oh lord.

Lord if you love me so much to want to use me: Lock me so totally on you and I will know no other.

Teach me and help me understand when I take it out of your hands and to realize when it is occurring and bind the panic, worry etc.

“Lord grant this one request I ask of you, because I know my ability to screw things up royally.” Take me so deep in your spirit that I will know no other voice but yours and not care what others think and do.’

You said in your word- you would not deny a broken, contrite, repentant spirit and heart. Hear my cry, oh lord and see if there be any wicked way in me know my thoughts I pray- I surrender all to you

A broken, humbled vessel

Grant me your perfect will, joy, peace, humor, wisdom, understanding, kindness, peace and complete knowledge of your love. As David of old said, “grant me your wisdom oh lord .”