Healing is still going on

taken 5/12/2009

taken RIGHT AFTER DIVORCE IN 05 AND BEFORE CHEMO

THE LORD IS NUMBER ONE IN MY LIFE AS HE HAS BROUGHT ME THROUGH A HARD PLACE LAST YEAR. IN JUNE 07, I WENT INTO ER WITH A HEADACHE THAT WOULD NOT QUIT- THEY RAN TESTS AND FOUND A MASS AT THE BASE OF MY SKULL-THAT WAS BLOCKING THE SPINAL FLUID FROM DRAINING- THEY REMOVED IT (NOT CANCER) BUT AT THE SAME TIME, DUE TO A FAMILY GENETIC PROBLEM-THEY FOUND CANCER IN BOTH BREASTS.PRAYER WAS GIVEN AND NO SHUNT WAS PUT INTO THE BRAIN BUT 4 DAYS AFTER SURGERY- I STARTED HAVING BALANCE ISSUES AND NOT KEEPING AND FOOD OR LIQUIDS DOWN. THIS WENT ON FOR 2 WEEKS AND THEN A TUBE FEEDING AND DRAINAGE TUBE WAS PUT IN- AND STILL LOST TO 142LBS- WAY TO LIGHT FOR A 6 FT TALL WOMAN. TWO WEEKS LATER- I STOOD UP IN THERAPY AND THE WHOLE TUBE FEEDING FELL OUT OF MY STOMACH- IT WAS LEFT OUT AND I PUT ON 30 LB IN 2 WEEKS- AS FOR WALKING- WENT FROM WALKER TO NO SUPPORTAT ALL IN WEEKS…THE NURSING HOME CALLED ME THEIR MIRACLE CASE AS I WAS ALMOST DEAD WHEN I WAS PUT IN THERE.’
THE CANCER SURGERY TOOK PLACE IN JULY(THEY GOT IT ALL) AND HAD TO GO THRU CHEMO AND RADIATION. OH THE DRAINAGE TUBE WENT BAD AS WELL. THERE IS MD’S -SURGEON AND ONCOLOGIST AS WELL AS NURSING HOME TO BACK THIS UP.

When I was 7 – I bit a electric cord- the resulting burn was so bad
doctors said I’d never smile again on that side of my face- prayer
was given. My mother said – one night I laughed so hard I turned
blue and both sides went up. Don’t remember what was so funny.
Both sides went up and are still going up. The scar healed so
small that it looks to be part of my dimple- (cousin did same thing
and did not heal like that). Graduation picture- mother tried to get
it airbrushed out of it. I noticed that they had did the wrong side
and pointed it out with the comment’, ” Mom- I have a hole in my
head where there wasn’t one before!” She looked and said you
are right!

When I was 9- I was knocked off the top of the slide and hit
concrete causing seizures. Prayer again was given and twelve
years went by. Right before my 22 birthday, I went up for prayer
for a headache and the evangelist said lord heal her of the
nervous condition as well. Things began to happen on a monthly
basis- physically- that the doctor’s said would mess up my
dilantin levels. I was taking 400 mg of dialntin and 60 of
phenobarbital on a day-to day basis. I was clasified petit mal
epilepsy but had the grand -mal seizures.January 4, 1983- I was wanting the healing so bad- I said not my will but yours and rolled over and went to sleep -crying. During the night- the holy spirit shot thru me and i rolled over to see the form of a man leaving the room. There is no way anyone could get to this room except thru father- (6 ’2). January 11, 1983- I was put into hospital for brain -wave tests
and the pastor stopped in prayed and said the holy spirit was at
work in the room… thre seconds later after the pastor left- in
walked the neurologist – you are normal -you are going off the
medications. He still remembers the case. almost thirty years
later. I came over the end of the bed and called parents – you should
have heard the shouts. At the same time, they found out my left
kidney had been backed up and floating since birth- prayer was
given- talked abiout major surgery-stint and all—- they dialated
the urter and it has been fine ever since. a person that just wants
to be a vessel for the lord. Isn’t god good??
PSALMS 23 MEANS A WHOLE LOT TO ME AS WELL AS
FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND. PRAISE THE LORD!

Butterfly Wings in Honor of Mom

Motherhood is a precious and fragile as the fragile butterfly wings. It’s time is so short. Treat it lovingly and reverently, or it will disappear as the beautiful butterfly does.
Protect it and nurture it, allowing it to bless others … Instead of hurting others  and forgotten like the caterpillar is . Which do you want to be remembered with love or hated?
the choice is yours…you never know what you have until you lose it.

The Mighty Eagle

The eagle lives a solitary life with its mate for life- off in pairs- so high up in the trees.
God has been readying his eagles for a time such as now.
He has been communing and ministering to and with them- strengthening them for battle. In the quiet times , he has watched them grow into mighty eagles.

He has been calling them now out of seclusion and massing them together for battle, further arming them.

We are his mighty eagles, getting ready to come out of our nests. We shall mount up with wings as eagles, run and not be weary and walk and not faint.

Our calling is taking us higher, just as the eagles soar higher than the naked eye can see, but yet be useful here on earth.

Our calling is to be his voice and point the way.

It is time to fly Mighty eagles, as time is so short ! Prepare us and arm us well for the battle

Sneak Previews

The Ten Plagues affected an entire nation because of one man’s sin, signaling the freedom and life for my children. A preview of my coming power.

The Vials of wrath will affect all nations because of all man’s sin, bringing death and destruction. Foretold judgment for all mankind

The Red Sea parting was a glimpse of my power, showing a way of escape and ultimate destruction of their enemy. I have provided a way of escape from sin’s death- my son . His death brought you the escape and protection from satan’s final judgement- eternal life with out me.

Euphrates drying up, is my full power released, allowing my enemies to cross as – she is holding them back right now. They will be allowed in to face ultimate destruction at my hands.

All the diverse weather happening today- tornados etc in wrong areas . Weather in wrong places and wrong time- Their severity is but a small taste of what is to come during the tribulation.

Man isn’t it time we pay attention to what the earth is trying to tell us? The sneak previews are bad enough. Do you want life or destruction? It is your choice

We expereince death now- but during the tribulation, they will cry out for death and it will not come

From Pearls to Roses-Life is never easy

What are Pearls Made of?

Pearls are formed when a piece of sand or other irritant wounds the oyster or clam. It secretes a substance that over the years and many layers harden into a beautiful, costly pearl.

Which do you want to be – the irritant or the beautiful pearl? God sees us as more priceless than the costly pearl. Oh for his vision!

The more costly pearls are formed at deeper depths. God sends pearls into our lives via tears by family, friends and situations. If we did not cry getting us through the wounds, we would not grow and learn. How costly a pearl are you going to be?

Thorns

My children, you may be tempted to be bitter and complain about the situations or places I place you in, but remember my children, even the most beautiful of roses has their thorns. To get to the beauty you have to grow thru stages and thorns, learning and perfecting your walk, such as the case remember the three Hebrew children thrown in the fire?  I was with them and brought them out as gold. To be the most beautiful and fragrant of roses – go thru the thorns and dry spells.
Bloom where you are planted.

 
Roses

A roses’s beauty opens and is fragrant over a short time, pleasing a few that see it – then fades. God’s love is like a rose – opening and slowly over time getting sweeter, more fragrant and more beautiful as is opens. It pleases countless many that see it never fading. Which rose do you want?

What Am I To You?

You celebrate my birth and resurrection- but what do you do with me the rest of the year, am I put up on a dusty old shelf like a bible and pulled out only when you need me? I am here year round for you and want your love and worship year round. I appreciate your praise on my birth and resurrection- but I am a jealous god – what are you putting ahead of me? It grieves me when I am ignored- Just like it would you.

I  AM A YEAR ROUND GOD!

Easter Is Almost Here

The grave is final in the natural sense, my children. But I am in the supernatural, my children. Sickness, death, and all life’s situations are but mere illusions to me and scatter like the wind before me. Step into the supernatural, my children and they will scatter like the wind before you. I have proven my love and power on resurrection morning. Take your hands off- do not limit me and just believe and know that I am god. Reach and be real before me.  written on easter.

Heart Cry

I had went through a 15 yr marriage filled with verbal abuse and still hadn’t dealt with other issues in my life.    The Lord gave me this – and it helped start the barriers dropping to allow him to heal. I am hoping – should you need to, and are afraid to face the pain and issues, that this will help you get alone with him to start your own healing process.  We all pray, differently but the first step is always the hardest to take. We all put up defenses to keep from getting hurt again, but we don’t need to do it with god.

Dear Lord,

Precious lord, you know my true intentions and my love for you and I praise you for all you have done for me,

I am distressed that I have repeatedly, unknowingly taken things out of your loving hands.

Lord, teach me to depend on you and break through the trust barriers. Heal the wounds that is hindering it as I know now that has been missing in my life- restore unto me what the devil stole from me. Restore the good memories that the locust has stolen over the years and all that he has taken from me at the hands of others. I forgive them and ask you to bind the negative thoughts and emotions for ever caused. Train me, mold me break me (gently please),fill me, use me. Mold me into the person you can use completely. Show me who I can trust and be open with, and to shut my mouth, and to break the negativity. Break the stubborn spirit that has to do it all in me, and show me it is ok to depend on, and trust in you. Lord, I have had to do it myself for so long, because of always being told no when I asked for help, or reminded all the time when they did help, that they did, and wanted repayment, which confused me as we were taught not to do that. Help me to love the sinner and hate their ways, and return good  for  evil, and to do good that despite fully use me, and not get hurt and walk away.

Lord, one time you got my attention so effectively when I slipped and said something I didn’t mean to, You, very disappointedly,  said, What do you think you are doing?  The disappointed tone you used, broke my heart, as I so desire your approval, and to know I am good enough and worthy to do your calling ?  I need to learn the still ,small voice, as it has never been used on me – just loudness( Please oh lord – help me to understand it and learn to hear it clearly) Yelling scares me but , I deal more with the tones and being talked to like my feelings matter.

Put a check in me when I speak, if it is not from you, or do things ahead of you.

Lord, break(bind) the spirits that have been trying to control me-anger,negativity,jealousy,unforgiveness,bitterness,pride,confusion,envy,self-doubt,depression, discouragement. Failure, self-doubt, unbelief, low-self esteem,fear,loneliness,wanting to please and impress others ( I want to please you and only you).

Lord, you said you hear the cries of a broken, contrite, humbled spirit and heart. Refuse me not your Mercies and grace in this. Restore me to what I once was a loving, caring, forgiving person that let go and forgot – help me oh god – to know that again. Let what I’ve been through help others and be for your glory not a hindrance.

Verbally check this sometimes dense, stubborn woman the minute she gets out of line. A loud hey will get my attention- teach me to understand and respond to that still, small voice- never had it used on me before. Do another inside out on me oh lord.

Lord if you love me so much to want to use me: Lock me so totally on you and I will know no other.

Teach me and help me understand when I take it out of your hands and to realize when it is occurring and bind the panic, worry etc.

“Lord grant this one request I ask of you, because I know my ability to screw things up royally.” Take me so deep in your spirit that I will know no other voice but yours and not care what others think and do.’

You said in your word- you would not deny a broken, contrite, repentant spirit and heart. Hear my cry, oh lord and see if there be any wicked way in me know my thoughts I pray- I surrender all to you

A broken, humbled vessel

Grant me your perfect will, joy, peace, humor, wisdom, understanding, kindness, peace and complete knowledge of your love. As David of old said, “grant me your wisdom oh lord .”

Why Is it??

Have you ever noticed that certain people tend to get blamed for everything that happens- a lot of the time- wrongfully, or the accuser doesn’t get all the facts before accusing? The person being blamed is just a handy one at the time.
How would that make you feel?
Can you imagine the thoughts of the adultrous woman as she was being dragged to Jesus and thrown in front of him?
1 Could have been: Now, what have I done that I didn’t know that  I did. Why don’t I get any peace, or why are they always doing to this to me? And the Thoughts could go on to … Is this my last Breath I take?? A thought could have been, WHAT IS GOING ON NOW?
Jesus probably perceived these thoughts as he bent down to write, and Stated “he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
Can you imgaine the utter amazement as she watched her accusers just vanish away? Or the relief when he asked the woman ,”Where art thine accusors?”
if i was in her shoes as she answered – I have none- I would be wanting to pass out- shout- run – with a joy so intense and gratitude.
The bible States that they told jesus They cought her in the act and she did not deny it- so we get the impression she was guilty and did not want to lie to the lord.
Then his final words – go and sin no more.
What if -it could have played out the other way where they were trying to trap Jesus again with her and they were either making it up or going on heresay?
The Lord would have known this as well and did not he remain silent before his accusers?
Let’s put the shoe on your foot when you are casting blame- how would you feel – if you were the accused and not the accuser? Especially if the charges were in error and not based in fact>?
What do you get out of this?